Truly thankful
So, out of the blue, one of my sons wrote me a note today. As his teacher, the spelling is atrocious but as his mom, I’m so incredibly touched.
It says:
“Mom, I know dad has been stressed lately and we have been focusing on him but you are stressed too so I wanted to tell you you’re doing great and I am blessed to have you as a mom and I love you. Thank you.”
So, How did this come about?
1. Modeling behavior
Last week, my husband Aaron was stressed, so the boys and I all wrote him thank you cards, set up a nap station on the couch with a pillow and blanket, and got him his favorite snacks.
We drove to Dollar General especially to get him a Coke Zero and Reese’s Cups. There were no other errands that needed run while we were out, we were simply focused on dad.
2. Learning Love languages
Our family has all taken the love language quizzes for couples and for kids. We know what makes each other tick and the best ways to show love.
Dad, we know, feels loved when we do things for him like have the living room all cleaned up and a nap station put together just for him. He also likes to be thought of with small gifts- basically food haha. He does not appreciate money spent, but does enjoy a Coke Zero.
You can take the love language test with your family here.
3. Give them opportunities
When we decide to do something kind for others, we involve the kids. We brainstorm about the person we are showing kindness to. What kinds of things do they enjoy? Are they material things or activities?
We know Grandma Chris loves little gifts so a small stuffed animal (usually Snoopy) is what the boys gravitate to for her. Grandma Resa likes quality time so a gift of taking her to the park with us and treating her to ice cream together would be a great way to show her we love her!
Let your kids choose small things for each other or for a parent at the store. (a gumball, sticker, small item that reminds them of the person).
I know it’s not fun to bring too many things into the home, but creating an atmosphere of putting each other first is the goal here. It’s rare for my kids to grab a cookie around here without also grabbing one for each of their brothers as well.
4. Train the brain
When we train the brain to think of others first, thoughtfulness begins to come naturally. We are less concerned with ourselves and more considerate of those around us.
Speak out loud the things that you enjoy and encourage your kids to do the same. This is a time of training and learning. Don’t just “be happy with everything and only give praise”. That may seem foreign, but
How is somebody supposed to get to know you if they don’t know what you like?
I’m not saying to be negative and put things down, but if your child brings you a candy bar with coconut in it and you don’t like coconut, thank them for thinking of you but let them know that you prefer food without coconut.
I don’t want my boys to become husbands that don’t seek out what makes their wives tick. If they think any old thing will do, they won’t put in the effort truly needed to make a marriage work.
Our kids are watching us
I’m so glad that these moments stuck out to my son and that he took it upon himself to write me a note.
I love having my boys home. They are learning so much more than just academics and I hope so much they remember these things and apply them to their future marriages and friendships. ❤️❤️❤️
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